Freedom
by B.Logan
Summary: Just how does Aidan feel after killing Bishop?


**I am not a writer nor would I ever pretend to be but I can't get this show out my head. I was just thinking of how bad Aiden would feel after killing Bishop Please review really, really please! Thanks**

**Disclaimer**: Like everyone here I do not claim to own anything. I don't claim ownership of the characters, the show, or anything else. In fact I barely have grip on my own thoughts.

**Freedom.**

He had killed millions times before and every time he felt something…hunger, lust, angry, hurt, or shame even indifference was something. This however was nothing; it was emptiness, the abyss. He was completely numb.

His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and every inch of his body hurt. Several long minutes passed in silence, before he could stop trembling and steady his unneeded breath. Slowly his face relaxed, his eyes opened to gaze on what he had done, the pile lay before him taunting him in its finality.

Suddenly, violently his entire body spasmed, causing the barbed wire to fall from his fist and clatter loudly to the ground. Like a distant wave breaking the pain radiated out from his center. He turned his head and clenched his sides as the contents of his stomach emptied onto the warehouse floor. Josh's carefully prepared dinner lay in a putrid heap. Thinking of Josh's willingness to sacrifice everything caused him to flinch and smile a bit to himself before turning back to face what he had done.

As he looked about the battleground, devastated he crumbled to the floor. Crawling forward hands and knees though the pile before him he reached out and begin to scoop up large armfuls of ash and bring it to his face. As it slipped from his hands and between his fingers he screamed until the screams turned to sobs. His face gray with dust and tear stained he glanced up to see Sally standing unmoving near the pile that was Bishop. She reached out to comfort him and managed to lay a solid hand on his shoulder for a second before it passed through him.

"Aidan" she choked out from between her own tears "I am…so sorry."

"Leave" he sobbed

"…but Aidan"

"GO. now." he instantly regretted the force of his words, as he lifted his hands to cover his face and hide his grief.

"but.." Sally whimpered.

"Please" he begged "just leave me be." He sobbed from behind his ashen and blood-covered hands.

She thought about auguring but the pain was too much for her to bear, and with that she dissipated returning home where she would wait on the steps for his return.

Alone. He had never felt so scared and alone in his entire existence, not even when he was turned. He woke up in pain and fear but he was not alone "he" was there. He was there at his death and his unholy rebirth. He was there everyday in-between. Even when they were apart, years could go by but his was still with him, he was always there in his blood.

Recalling the feeling, as he pulled the wire tight around Bishop neck to deliver the final death Aidan had felt his veins flash hot, his blood was on fire. It was as if Bishops blood that flowed through him and made him vampire was being burned away. Now that he was gone Aiden felt colder than ever.

He knew it had to end this way; they both did, they were always destroying each other, one small cruel act at a time. Death was the only real solution; afraid of being alone he had always secretly hoped it would be him. Perhaps that why he pushed him so hard, left him so often, taunting and daring him, practically begging him to take his life.

As they sat on the floor of the apartment Josh and Sally seemed almost gleeful over his victory. In their eyes he had defeated his greatest enemy, the source of all his pain and problems, and in a way they were right. He knew he should feel relieved, but all he felt was fear. Fear of who or what he was of to become without Bishop to guide him, manipulate him or be there to rebel against. Bishop had been his maker, his father, a mentor, friend and more.

So he smiled and put on a brave face but just below the surface he was cracking. When the night concluded he was unable to sleep, his body ached part of him was gone. He remained hollow inside and empty shell. He had the overwhelming urge to pick up leave, but for the first time ever he had no need too he was "safe". Feeling desperate and restless he grabbed his jacket felt for it's contents and headed out into the night. He soon found himself wondering in the battlefields of Boston. As he walked along the Freedom trail he pondered his own life's journey and his new found freedom that took him over two hundred years to earn. He wondered if he really wanted it as badly as he tried to convince himself he did. He considered embracing a new type of freedom, freedom from his endless life and freedom from the constant and ever present desire to feed. Rebecca was gone, Bernie was saved and even his brother who he loved/hated Marcus was gone. The Dutch had slaughtered most of his family; some of the vampires those that he considered "friends" that survived had either gone underground or into hiding. There were so few of them now.

The new vampires that remained were Bishops naïve recruits. They didn't understand the true nature of what they had become (they were so young how could they) he doubted that many of them would live long enough to learn. With out a strong leader to guide them vampires are very self-destructive. Jealous, possessive, headstrong and cocky, drunk on power and blood they often lost sight of the dangers that threatened them both human and other. That or the internal emotional struggles of virtual immortality, drive many vampires mad with suicide after the first hundred years or so. With out support lone vampires never last long.

But Aidan was not some young vamp in need of coddling, he knew the dangers and how to avoid them. He was more self-aware than most humans ever could ever hope to be. He told himself that despite his physical needs and desires he was basically a good person and not a monster. After 257 year he still was able to value life. More importantly Aiden was not alone. He had a new family one that sweetly, naively believed in him, cared for him and who would foolishly risk their lives for him. A family that could help him stay strong and who genuinely needed him to guide, nurture and protect them. This fragile new balance of give and take, gave him hope for the future. He reached into the lining of his leather coat and pulled out the wooden stake. He stood eye closed emotions whirling, feeling its lethal weight in his hands before he raised his arm and tossed it as far as he could from the Charlestown Bridge before turning to head home.

**P.S I have a song in my head that goes with this whole darned TV show. Please tell me you agree!**

**Again not mine! **

Artist: Mumford & Sons  
>Title: The Cave<p>

It's empty in the valley of your heart  
>The sun, it rises slowly as you walk<br>Away from all the fears  
>And all the faults you've left behind<p>

The harvest left no food for you to eat  
>You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see<br>But I have seen the same  
>I know the shame in your defeat<p>

But I will hold on hope  
>And I won't let you choke<br>On the noose around your neck  
>And I'll find strength in pain<br>And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time  
>You take what is yours and I'll take mine<br>Now let me at the truth  
>Which will refresh my broken mind<p>

So tie me to a post and block my ears  
>I can see widows and orphans through my tears<br>I know my call despite my faults  
>And despite my growing fears<p>

But I will hold on hope  
>And I won't let you choke<br>On the noose around your neck  
>And I'll find strength in pain<br>And I will change my ways  
>I'll know my name as it's called again<p>

So come out of your cave walking on your hands  
>And see the world hanging upside down<br>You can understand dependence  
>When you know the maker's hand<p>

So make your siren's call  
>And sing all you want<br>I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now  
>And I need to know how<br>To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope  
>And I won't let you choke<br>On the noose around your neck  
>I'll find strength in pain<br>And I will change my ways  
>I'll know my name as it's called again<p> 


End file.
